The older I get the more I see who my true friends are. I have a close circle of friends that have been in my life for over 10+ years each. Between all of us we have been there for one another through financial loss, divorces, breakups, meltdowns, death, moving to different cities and states, and all the other crazy things that life has brought upon us through the years. It hasn’t always been easy for all of us; there have even been a few situations where things got a bit rocky between us and we weren’t on speaking terms. With maturity coming into play and not wanting to lose each other, we all always found a way to come to together and work things out. You have to really look at who has value in your life. Who is there through the good and bad times; and who does sweet gestures to show they care for you without expecting anything in return. Most of the time we see things in people that they don’t see in themselves; no matter how hard we try to make them see the things we do, it doesn’t always happen that way. Some people are givers and some are takers; if you are always giving and giving and your friends continue to take without giving anything back, maybe it’ best they not be in your life. Real friends give back, they appreciate you, and your friendship will flow with the least amount of problems. It’s only natural for problems between friends to occur. You’ll know how much you mean to a person by how they handle it; if they at least meet you halfway to resolve things. When I love someone, I don’t hold back. I love hard, show them my world, share my visions, and try to help them see all the wonderful qualities they don’t see about themselves. That’s what I bring to the table with any of my close friendships. I am open, raw, and real always; it sometimes tends to be my biggest flaws, or at least my heart thinks so.
Making time for someone you want to spend with, sharing your family life, and deepest secrets, you build bonds. Bonds are sacred to me no matter what and I don’t develop them with just anyone. Friends dear to me I love like family and nothing less of that. I was recently hurt by one of my dearest friends; I felt they were dishonest with me, hiding something, and made me feel unappreciated. Because it stung my heart, I became a bit temporarily distant. I wanted to be able to gather my thoughts and feelings so when the time came for me to tell them what I was feeling, it was all factual and not emotional. This was not understood by them and instead of being patient by giving me space, I was cut off and was told good bye. In my opinion, when you love someone and know them well, you know when they are upset with you. If a person that means something to me is displaying that they are upset with me, the first thing I do is try to talk to them to figure out why. If they are not ready to talk about it, I give them space to let whatever it is they are feeling calm down a bit. I have never in my life cut someone out of it because I didn’t get the answers to my questions right then and there. We all have our way of dealing with things, and sometimes people want/need a little space, there’s nothing wrong with that.
As much as it hurts that someone I truly loved and would have done anything for was quick to cut me out of their life and say good bye, I’d rather have them walk out of my life if this is who they really are. I wouldn’t want any unnecessary grief in my life. (In all honesty, it reminds me of my ex husband and how he cut my family, his daughter, & I out of his life, but that’s a whole other blog.) Maybe the feelings weren’t mutual. However, I know I was not imagining the bond built with this person. I’ve learned a thing or two about narcissism in relationships, whether friendships or intimate relationships; either way, the relationships they are in have to be only about them and their way. I’ve decided to remove my narcissist magnet and keep my eyes open wider than my heart. Nothing in life is a coincidence. People come in and out of our lives for some purpose, even if they hurt you or there for the long run. Things tend to sometimes not make sense when those you think are there for the long run choose otherwise. Not everyone will see the bigger and better picture, mistakes that can be corrected, or what they could possibly miss out on. All we can do is keep moving forward with those that want to be part of our journey.
Thursday thoughts are a series to share my random and personal thoughts with my readers so that they well get to know me a bit more. We all have a different outlook on life, feelings, emotions, and sense of humor. My Thursday thoughts series is just for fun, sharing, and to make you think of things yourself.
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