This is my first Thursday Thoughts post of the new year. I have to admit, I am so glad the holidays are now over. With the awful year that I had in 2015, I think I spent more time either crying or in bed sleeping the days away during most if not all of the holidays. Not only was that draining, I looked like hell. I cried hard, especially on New Year’s Eve to the point that I passed out cold. I woke up, checked my phone (just like I did on Christmas Day) and there was not one text from the people that I was hoping to hear from. My phone was blown up by texts, calls, and messages from my family and my close circle of friends all wishing me a Happy New Year and asking if I was ok. After I read and responded to all the messages, I took a good look at myself in the mirror. I thought you know what, I am tired of being sad, I am tired of hurting, I am tired of looking like hell, I am tired of feeling like my life has ended, I am tired of expecting to be treated with love the same way I have given to others that took it for granted and didn’t return it after numerous attempts of fixing relationships, and most of all I am tired of waiting to hear some kind of remorse or sympathy from those that have broken my heart. I am simply just tired, exhausted, and done.
With New year’s always bringing on fresh starts, resolutions, and the whole “new year, new you” being such a trend, it motivated me to get my life and myself back on track. I don’t want a new me, I want the me that I lost in the last 5 years of my life while trying to fix other people; while trying to save my marriage. Though time heals all and life is full of surprises, this new year has started off pretty great. My little beauty business is still growing, my blog is slowly becoming a business too, I revived a women empowerment online community I had forgotten about, I have meet so many new amazing people, I have reunited with childhood friends, my friends and family are healthy, and I am alive. Not a bad way to start the new year and definitely lots to be proud of. As I looked back on past Thursday Thoughts posts, it motivated me to get out of my sad depressing funk and to write about the goodness in my life while trying to leave the bad behind me. So to my fellow heartbroken friends, leave the past behind you; don’t go searching for a new you, find the YOU you lost. Happy 2016.
